Time Travel Deficiency

ok, I admit it.  I’m one of those people who just doesn’t understand the concept of time travel.  Honestly, it’s enough to drown me in a whirlpool of confusion.  Take for example Back to the Future.  That one was easy enough to follow…he’s gotta be careful not to mess up the time/space continuum and must fix the things he’s screwed up.  Got it.  Ok.  Back to the Future 2 when he’s going to the past and future and trying to not screw things up by running into his past, present and future self, that’s where it started to go wrong for me.  Now that I think about it, I can’t remember too many details about that one.  Maybe I was trying to protect my brain, but I do remember discussing it with my mom and brother and both of them becoming exasperated with my inability to grasp what ever was happening.  I seem to remember the phrase “Christine, it’s just a movie…let it go” being said.  Many times.  and “I don’t know how to explain this so you will understand”, but I heard that a lot regarding Math too.  🙂

Over the past 20 years I’ve come to terms with my time travel deficiency and have been able to function fine in the real world.  Until the movie The Lakehouse came out a few years ago.

I really wanted to like this movie….Sandra Bullock, Keanu..who didn’t love Speed?? (One year, everyone in my family and close friend circle unknowingly bought a VHS copy of Speed for someone else. It was a riot on Christmas morning).  While the movie itself was nice and even keeled as only Keanu can do, the story made me absolutely crazy.  I kept pausing the DVD to say “Huh???” so many times that Jose finally took the remote away from me.

I don’t want to spoil this for any of you who haven’t seen the movie…you should.  It’s not awful, in fact it’s kind of sweet, it just doesn’t make sense!!!

Here’s the trailer:

SPOILERS              SPOILERS             SPOILERS (kind of)

Here’s a little bit of our conversation during the movie:

Me: “I’m so confused.  Explain this part to me…how exactly does this mailbox work?”

Jose: “It’s magic.  You know what I’d do, right?”

Me:  “I don’t care what you’d do.  How does it work?”

Jose: “I don’t know…they put things in it and they travel back and forth two years in time.  But you know what I’d do, right?”

Me: “But, but but…HOW??”

Twenty minutes later.

Me: “I’m so confused.  What is happening here?”

Jose: “It’s magic.  You know what I’d do, right?”

Me:  “I don’t care what you’d do.  How does it work?”

Jose: “I don’t know…they put things in the mailbox and they travel back and forth two years in time.  But you know what I’d do, right?”

Me: “But, but but…HOW??”

Repeat this every so often.

Finally, the end.

Me:  WHAT?????  HOW??? My head hurts!!”

Jose:  “It’s magic.  You’d know what I’d do, right?”

Me: “I don’t care.  What the hell just happened?”

Jose: “Well, duh.  That’s easy.  They “caught” up with each other”

Me: (feeling my brain begin to split) “Huh???  What do you mean they “caught” up with each other?  How does one person fast forward through time?”

Jose: “Oh, there was no fast forwarding, silly.  The other one just “waited”  You know what I’d do, right??”

Me: “Uhhhh.  How does someone WAIT for two years to catch up with someone else who’s two years ahead? and stop asking me. I don’t care what you’d do”

Jose: “I don’t know, it makes perfect sense to me.  He just “waited” for her even though he’s two years BEHIND and suddenly they were on the same time loop.  And then magically, they appeared at the same time next to that amazing mailbox.  It’s simple.  BUT!! you know what I’d do??”

Me:  *banging my head on the wall literally feeling my brain weeping*  “I give up. OK, OK. TELL me, what would you do?”

Jose:  “Oh, I’d build a bigger mailbox and just climb in it”

If that doesn’t sum up  my experiences with time travel, I don’t know what does.  I can’t really watch Quantum Leap, as much as I like that show.  And Journeyman, from last season (with dreamy Kevin McKidd), I managed to hold on through the 13 episodes just fine. I can’t overthink, that’s all.

So I was a tad concerned when I found out my book club’s new selection is “The Time Traveler’s Wife”.  I’ve put off reading as long as possible, even though the book sounds terrific and has good reviews from everyone I know who’s read it.  I’m just scared to start reading.

So a few day ago, I picked up the book and started. I’m on page 20 and let’s just say while I’m enjoying it, I’ve already got the Excedrin handy.

Chris

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3 Responses to Time Travel Deficiency

  1. Jose says:

    You know what I’d do with this post??

  2. Lillian says:

    Chris:
    Have you seen “Somewhere in Time” with Christopher Reeve? You should see that one, the time travel thing is really well done. And you know what? I was thinking the same thing as Jose. Just get a bigger mailbox and climb inside.

    However, and although it made me laugh, I would disregard Jose’s nasty comment regarding the post.

  3. Kim says:

    You crack me up. This is really great reading. The suspense was killing me. I was dying to know what Jose would do. Great!!!!

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